Thy Heart Lies Open
by lady scribe of avandell
Summary: I walked away filled with the knowledge that I had nowhere to go. I had no one and nothing. I was more alone than Princess Cassandra had ever been. (abandoned)
1. Alone

A/N: this is half-movie-verse, half-book-verse, but it starts where the movie left off...with achilles lying in the temple, and briseis and paris running for the tunnel. it's what happens (or what should have happened) to them as they run. briseis's pov.  
  
and yes, i know i should be working on tmmdts, but i had to get this out of my system. it's been driving me crazy that they left us hanging like that! besides, it's ok, because achilles and eomer are one and the same. yup. they both look like brad pitt. sad, isn't it? and briseis and lothiriel resemble each other as well.  
  
::disclaimer:: if you sue me, you'll only get the shirt off a demented highschooler's back. i don't own troy, i don't own brad pitt, i don't own achilles, i don't own hector (unfortunately) (even though he has almost nothing whatsoever to do with this fanfic). they all belong to wolfgang peterson, jennifer aniston, and homer, respectively. now, enjoy the story.....

* * *

Chapter I  
  
I ran only because Paris forced me. I did not know where we were going, only that we were leaving Achilles behind. Fresh tears coursed from my eyes at the thought of my beloved falling at the hands of my cousin. Why had he done it? Was it for Hector? Was it for me? Or--and this was what I believed to be the truth--was it for himself, his glory? I had heard of the "battle" between my cousin and Menelaus. Achilles had told me of it.  
  
Ai, Achilles! Sorrow filled my entire being as I ran. He had been so kind to me in the days of my captivity. He was all that had kept me alive, both literally and figuratively. Were it not for him, I doubt that I would ever have been returned to my family. Not that I had really wanted to go, but my uncle would not have understood if I had not left. In a way, I wish that Achilles had not let me go, for he would be at my side now, and we would be living in his home in Pthia. Together, as one.  
  
I was lost in these thoughts when I heard a whooshing sound and then a cry from Paris in front of me. I looked up at my cousin to see an arrow protruding from his back. Everything that happened next occurred in slow motion. Paris jolted back as a second arrow hit him, this time, ironically, in the ankle. He turned and looked at me. "Run!" he said, but I didn't. I reeled back and forth on my feet, laughing hysterically as he was hit a third time. "Run, Briseis! Escape while you still can!"  
  
I shook my head. "I cannot leave him."  
  
"Briseis!" He looked into my eyes. "I need you to escape! Give my love to Helen, tell her I am sorry. You must do this for me."  
  
"No. I cannot. I must not leave him."  
  
"I beg you, Briseis, go! Leave me behind. Tell Helen--tell her I love her, and I will never forget her. Tell her, Briseis, that she will always be mine." And with that, my cousin closed his eyes and breathed no more.  
  
I let go of his hand and collapsed on the ground next to him, sobbing. I did not cry for him or for his beloved Helen. I cried instead for myself and for my beloved Achilles, lying on the floor of the temple of Apollo. I cried for my city, which was once the greatest and fairest city in all the world. I cried for Hector and Andromache and Priam and Hecuba. But I could not cry for my cousin and his lover. They had brought so much pain with their love. They were the ones that killed Achilles, killed Hector, killed Priam. They were the ones that destroyed the city, and I could not find it in my heart to forgive them.  
  
Suddenly, I felt a man's arms around me. "Achilles?" I whispered.  
  
"Nay, fair Briseis, it is only Odysseus. I have not seen Achilles since we opened the gates."  
  
"The temple," I whispered. "That is where I last saw him. The temple. Paris--he shot him," I choked. "He wouldn't stop. Not even after I screamed and begged him to. He wouldn't stop." I put my arms around Odysseus's neck and cried into his chest. "He wouldn't stop."  
  
"Shhh, my lady. We will find Achilles. For now, I will take you outside the gates to a place where you can rest safely, alright?" I think I must have nodded, because he picked me up and carried me to his own tent. "You will be safe in here. No one will bother you. See? I have posted a guard to protect you." Odysseus set me down on the bed and left. I soon drifted off into sleep, tortured with horrible dreams.

* * *

I awoke to the sounds of men breaking camp. I opened my eyes to see the roof of a tent, and for a moment, I believed that the days since Hector's death had all been a horrible nightmare and that I had never left Achilles's side after all. I sat up and soon knew that it was no dream, but a living nightmare. Odysseus was sitting on a small stool watching me.  
  
"He is dead, then?" I asked.  
  
He nodded slowly. "Your cousin was killed by Philoctetes's arrow."  
  
"I do not care. What I meant was, is Achilles truly gone?" I watched Odysseus carefully, searching for the truth in his eyes.  
  
He took a deep breath. "I am sorry. We found him lying in the temple with an arrow in his ankle. Dead." He leaned back on his stool. "We burn the bodies today."  
  
"I will be there to pay my respects," I answered, detached. There was nothing left to say, so Odysseus excused himself, leaving me bereft.  
  
After I sent a silent prayer to Hades to guide Achilles's soul, I stood and dressed myself in a robe Odysseus had left for me. I washed my face in the basin and exited the tent. It had been moved closer to the city, though I don't know why. The stench of death and burning permeated the air. I looked around at the soldiers, and then I saw a curious sight. Huddled in a small circle were several women from the city. I made my way over to them and gasped. Hecuba was among them!  
  
"My queen," I said quietly.  
  
"Briseis! How dare you address me as such! You whore! I despise you! You are the one who has brought us this terrible indignity. You and that evil man you call your lover. I know what you did with him. You disgraced the name of Apollo, you whore, sharing a bed with that murderer. I hate you. Never speak to me again!" I stood in shock for a moment, surprised at the enmity in my aunt's voice. At last, I overcame it and brought myself up as regally as I could.  
  
"Madam, you are much mistaken. I had nothing to do with the destruction of our beloved city. In fact, it was your son who brought the war to our shores along with his prize, the queen of Sparta." I walked away, filled with the knowledge that I had nowhere to go. I could not join what was left of my people even if I wanted to. They all believed I had brought this upon them. And yet, I could not very well stay with the Greeks, for the only one I had trusted was to be laid to rest before the day ended. I had no one and nothing. I was more alone than Princess Cassandra had ever been. 


	2. Fire

A/N: if you haven't noticed, i changed the title. well, sort of. i translated it into greek and then anglicized it to fit the english alphabet. so anyways, "nea ilia: phreskos archies" is the angliscized greek of "new troy: fresh beginnings." you have no idea how glad i am that we did a study of greek in sunday school (my teachers are college professeurs...er, proffesors...and one of them teaches greek). very handy. but there's one problem: i can't put the accents on the nouns. does anyone know how to do that? if so, tell me, so i can write the title and any other greek terms that i use correctly.  
  
note: i have deliberately changed some of the things that happen to diomedes to fit my story. please do not complain about inconsistencies with the book, because i am not trying to be 100% accurate.  
  
::disclaimer:: these get harder and harder to write, because i try to think up new ones for every chapter so you guys don't get bored. got any ideas for some disclaimers? post a review and tell me! p.s. i don't own troy or the iliad, though i need to buy a copy of the book so i can be sure i'm canon.

* * *

Chapter II  
  
I wandered aimlessly through the smouldering wreckage that was Troy. I went to the temple. They had removed the bodies of Agamemnon and his two guards. The only traces left that even hinted at that greedy son of a Carthaginian whore were a smatter of blood and the dagger. My dagger, the one that Achilles had given me after Hector died.  
  
"Keep it with you," he had said. "I will not always be able to protect you." I had protested at first, saying I did not want to kill, but he persisted, and now I was glad of it. That dagger had saved me from a fate worse than death.  
  
I picked the blade up. It was crusted with blood. I cleaned it off and looked at it. It had saved me once--could it save me again? I would be with Achilles, I reasoned. We would be together again. I took a deep breath and brought it to my breast, ready to plunge it into my heart.  
  
"Lady Briseis?" I jumped slightly and dropped the dagger. I turned. It was a Greek soldier--one I didn't recognize. He wore the livery of one of Odysseus's personal guards. He was handsome in the way that all Ithacans were. His hair was dark and curly, his nose long and straight. The man stood at the steps in the same place where Paris had stood the night before. "Lady Briseis, my lord Odysseus sent me to tell you that it is time to light the funeral pyres. He wanted me to escort you to the main square." He walked down the stairs and extended his hand.  
  
I managed a small smile and accepted his assistance. He linked arms with me. "What is your name, sir?" I asked as we walked toward the square.  
  
"Diomedes," he replied. "Might I ask you a question, Lady Briseis?"  
  
"Briseis, if you please. I've never held with titles for the sake of titles. And yes, ask away." I assumed that he would ask me why I had not escaped with Andromache the night before. It was a question I had asked myself more than once, and I still did not fully know the answer.  
  
"What were you doing, just now, in the temple?"  
  
I took a deep breath. "I was contemplating. I was--how should I say this? I was considering ending my life."  
  
"Why? If you do not mind my asking," Diomedes said evenly, not batting an eyelash.  
  
"Have you ever been in love, Diomedes?" I asked in reply.  
  
"If you mean, have I been with a woman, then yes. In fact, I have been married twice, but my first wife was unfaithful. My second wife does not truly love anything but money and jewels." He looked at me. "Does that answer your question?"  
  
"Aye, it does." I sighed. "I shall try to explain my actions to you. You know how I met Achilles, yes?" He nodded. "And you know that we were together. In a matter of a few weeks, though it felt like eternity and at the same time a fleeting moment, I fell in love. Despite his ruthlessness on the battlefield, Achilles was kind to me in what I thought to be my darkest hours." I laughed bitterly. "I realize now that those were the greatest, most beautiful days of my life. After Hector's death, my uncle came for his body. Achilles allowed me to return to the city. These last twelve days, I was a mere shadow of my former self. I did not want to be safe inside my city. I wanted to be with Achilles. And last night, when I thought for a moment that we would be together again, Paris, my cousin, took it all away. Since you have not been in love, it is impossible for me to try to explain the emptiness I feel. It is like my heart has been ripped out and thrown on the ground."  
  
We walked for a while in silence, and then we reached the main square. Already they had placed Achilles's body on the pyre. Odysseus stood at the bottom of the ladder, waiting. "Lady Briseis?"  
  
"I would like to help lay him to rest," I said quietly.  
  
He nodded and gestured for me to go up in front of him. It was a solemn affair; the men watching stood in silence as we climbed to the top of the dais. It was the highest funeral pyre I had ever seen, taller, even, than the one constructed for Hector. At last we reached the top. My breath caught in my throat. To see him there, on the stack of wood and incense, was almost too much. I gulped as Odysseus placed the coins upon his eyes. I leaned over and kissed his lips one last time. "I will never forget you," I whispered. Odysseus handed me one of the torches. Together, we lit the pyre, I at his head, he at his feet. We climbed down the ladder as the rest of the wood caught fire.

* * *

I stood and watched the pyre burn long into the night. It was horrifying and at the same time, glorious. No one stood with me, for even Odysseus went to his tent to celebrate. I did not leave my station until after dawn when Diomedes came, saying, "Lady Briseis, Odysseus wishes to speak with you."  
  
I turned my tear-stained face to look at him. "Will you take me to his tent?"  
  
"Aye. He asked me the same."  
  
For the second time since Achilles's death, I walked with Diomedes. He was--how should I say it?-- kind to me. Not in the same way that Achilles had been kind to me, but in a way that no man has been before or since. He was a companion in my sorrow, a silent statue of comfort in my garden of darkness.  
  
We reached Odysseus's tent and entered. "You wanted to see me, my lord?" I asked.  
  
"Ah, yes, Lady Briseis." He gestured for me to sit. "I have a matter of utmost importance for you. It does not have to be resolved immediately, but I wanted to give you enough time to consider your choices."  
  
My choices? What did he mean? Was I to choose between being stranded in the devastation of my city or becoming a slave? "I'm not sure I understand," I said.  
  
"It's quite simple really. In twelve days--after the mourning period is over--the fleet will sail home. However, we shall be separating. You must remember, we are from all over the Aegean. We need to know where you would like to be taken, if anywhere." I sighed in relief. I would not be taken as a slave, then. "I can take you back with me to Ithaca," he continued, "or we can send you with any of the ships to any city you choose."  
  
"I will have to think on it awhile," I said, smiling. "I thank you for giving me the choice, though." I inclined my head and took my leave.  
  
Diomedes was waiting for me outside. "You could come home with me," he said, "to Argos. I think you would like it there. It's not as big as Troy was, by any means, but we manage well enough."  
  
"You have been dropping eaves, good sir. How rude!" I laughed. It felt wonderful--and right--to laugh with Diomedes. For the first time in a long while, my life was truly looking happy. It was as though a great weight had been cast from my shoulders, and I relished in the freedom.


	3. Ash

A/N: this week, with personalized messages!  
dreamingebony: thank you for correcting my mistake. i was using an apparently untrustworthy translator for the title.  
c'est magnifique: yes, it is definitely b/d! i was researching the story (b/c i'm obsessive like that), and i found out that he actually fell in love with her and tried to kill her fiance in battle. don't know if he ever succeeded or not, but it doesn't really matter for this. also, i've put tmmdts on hold for a little bit...i had writer's block and then this showed up.  
belladonnarue: i will most definitely try to get into her mind a bit more...after all, it is from her pov.  
artemis: thank you! i'll update as quickly as possible, but i'm leaving for canada on sunday (06/06/04).  
romancenpassiona: sorry, but he's not coming back. nope...no way am i going that route. i will make sure that briseis has a happy ending, though.  
hawaiikel: i don't think hecuba was actually dead in the book, so i'm going with that. and i'll try to expand on some of the sub-plots of the original story.  
luckyschmucky: what gave you the idea that this was a one-shot? lol..i'm glad i knocked paris off, too. he needed to go. stupid elf-prince-git.  
aldariel: thankies muchly!  
autumn xavier: i'm sure there has to be something you can nit-pick about. thanks for the review! now, you have to update!  
lotr-nutcase: hooray for achilles-is-eomer fans! we should start a cult....artemis is with us, too, i think. and yes! she'll find love!  
sheesh, that was long.....  
  
::disclaimer:: hahaha! i have suddenly acquired a rather large sum of money and was at last able to buy troy and all of its affiliates (including the actors for my own twisted purposes!). btw, did i mention that i'm lying and that i really own none of this?  
  
  
  
Chapter III  
  
That freedom lasted for many days. Diomedes was my near-constant companion, leaving my side only at night and when he was called away to relay messages for Odysseus. We explored the many caves that dotted the hills surrounding Troy, or rather, I guided Diomedes through them. We also scavenged through the rubble of the city.  
  
This was the one task that occupied part of everyone's time. Every soldier that was able--and that was most of them--helped sift through the debris, removing bodies for burning and any treasure for stashing. I was unofficially put in charge of cleaning out the palaces and temples in the highest circle of the city. It was surreal, walking through the ashy remains of my former home. I think the hardest thing was sifting through the remains of my family's rooms. When we arrived at Hector and Andromache's rooms, I burst into tears. But, after I had dried my tears, Diomedes and I entered the apartments and began to clear them out. We found half-melted jewelry and weapons, twisted from the heat of the fires that had rampaged through the rooms. The silk sheets and drapes were so much ash on the wind, while the charred wood of the bed and cradled were silent testimony to the family that had once inhabited the halls.  
  
All of the royal household's apartments were like this. First Diomedes and I would gather up any gold or silver or bronze we found and place them in baskets. Then the soldiers would come in and sweep the ash out. I am not entirely sure why we scrubbed the city down; after all, no one would be living in it any longer. I suppose it was to give Odysseus and myself peace of mind and the soldiers something to do to wind down during the days after the war. What Odysseus did not realize was that I would forever berate myself for not listening to my cousin Cassandra when I had the chance.  
  
I said as much to Diomedes. His reply: "Who is Cassandra? I have not heard of her."  
  
So, I decided I would have to enlighten my new friend. "Cassandra was Hector and Paris's sister," I said, sitting down on a only slightly blackened bench. "She and her twin brother, Helenus, were prophets. Or oracles, whichever you prefer. Unfortunately, everything she told us has come true. Paris left for Sparta and stole Menelaus's wife. Menelaus and his brother came to avenge the insult. Hector died. The horse...was built. Cassandra warned us of all these things. She told us to burn the horse before it burned us. Everyone laughed, saying the Greeks had left Poseidon an offering and we would be cursed if we did not take it to the temple. The rest, you know."  
  
Surprisingly, sadness filled Diomedes's eyes. "I am sorry that no one listened to her, but then again, I am not. Many things that happened would not have, had your people listened to your cousin. One of those things is our meeting."  
  
"Yes." I smiled, albeit weakly. "And I would be living with Troilus."  
  
"Troilus?"  
  
"I was betrothed to him before the war, but he left with Hector and Paris for Sparta. I hated him, so while he was gone, I became a priestess of Apollo. It was a rather harsh blow to his manhood, but I knew I couldn't live out the rest of my life with him. Instead, I chose the virgin road." I snorted. "And you and I can both see how well that turned out."  
  
Diomedes laughed outright. "I daresay you were happier those few days with Achilles than you were as a priestess."  
  
"You are right. I doubt I would have truly made a good priestess in the long run. It was just the safest solution for me at the time. Not even Troilus would have taken advantage of Apollo's priestess. That would be like putting a death curse on yourself." I sighed. "But let's not dwell on my dismal past. We have much work to do. This is only the first palace. There are still those of my fifty cousins as well as that of my brother, Aeneas. I only pray that he made it out of the city safely with the others. Paris said that he was there, that he gave him the sword of Troy, in case he fell."  
  
  
  
As I said before, when we were not cleaning out the palaces, Diomedes and I explored the caves that dotted the countryside. I showed him the passageway that my uncle had used the night he came for Hector's body. It was actually a well-known tunnel that many of us noble children had used to escape our tutors. We laughed bitterly at the fact that the children of Troy could have very easily snuck in and out of the Greek encampment if they had wanted to.  
  
"Imagine," Diomedes said, "all the children of Troy putting itch powder in the beds of the soldiers as they tried to breach the city walls. That would have been a sight to remember in the morning."  
  
That was one thing that surprised me about Diomedes: he did not seem to really care which side he had been on; he offered ideas of how the battles would have gone better for either side. He was as gracious to me (or perhaps moreso) as he would have been to any woman of his own race. I asked him about it once. His only reply was: "No one ever really wins the war. Memory is the only thing that gains anything. And that means both sides lose. Because both sides are forever held hostage by memory. The way I see it, the war could have easily been a victory for Troy, but Hector still fell, as did Achilles. And in some ways, the victory is not so important when you see how many lives were lost and families destroyed."  
  
  
  
A/N (again): i stole the thing about memory being the only winner of the war from ann rinaldi's book, the staircase. i probably won't have a chance to update this until i get back from vacation. i'll be gone from the 6th to the 23rd. hope to update tmmdts before then! watch for it! 


	4. Dream

A/N: i'm losing reviewers. sigh but thank you, nut-case. and yes, i'm already beginning to dread my 2.5 weeks away. i'm missing out on a lot of the climax of an rpg i'm in. and you guys are missing out on the climax of tmmdts! it's written, but i won't have time to type it and upload it before we leave. oh well. you'll just have to wait.  
  
::disclaimer:: if i owned this, i would take all the money i was making from it and build a time machine so i could live in ancient greece and see whether achilles and hector were as hot as they were in the movie.  
  
  
  
Chapter IV  
  
dream  
I am running. I can see Troilus in the distance. I am running to him, my arms outstretched. I come to him and embrace him. "My love," I say. We kiss and then Achilles comes. He sees us, and I scream as he attacks Troilus. Troilus falls. Achilles stands over him, smiling.  
  
"Before this war ends, I will stand over your dead body and smile." He turns to me. "You whore. I loved you, and this is how you repay me?"  
  
I do not speak, only shake my head. Achilles is angry. He begins to ravage me. I see a flicker of movement behind him. It is Diomedes. Suddenly, I am able to speak again. "Diomedes, save me!" I shout. He hears and comes. They fight. Achilles falls, pierced by an arrow in his ankle. But Diomedes does not have a bow. Hector is in front of Diomedes, aiming at his heart. "Hector, no!" I say. He draws the bowstring anyway, ready to strike. As the arrow flies, I run in front of Diomedes. Just before it pierces me, I cry out.  
end  
  
I woke with a start. Diomedes was beside me, holding my hand. "Are you alright?" he asked. "I heard you scream for help in your sleep."  
  
I nodded. "It was just a dream. Just a dream." Tears of relief ran down my face as I repeated that phrase like a mantra. "Just a dream." Diomedes pulled me closer to him, holding me to his chest. He rocked me back and forth until I at last drifted off to sleep again.  
  
  
  
I did not wake again until morning. Sun streamed across my face, greeting me with a new day. The arms wrapped around my stomach instinctively drew tighter as I snuggled closer into the warm chest at my back. I smiled, my eyes still shut against the bright sun. Achilles would not fight today. He was safe for the time being.  
  
My eyes flew open. Achilles was dead. He had been dead for many days. We had burned his body. Today was the last day of the funeral rites. Slowly, I turned my head and gasped. It was Diomedes in the bed beside me. It was Diomedes who held me against his bare chest.  
  
"Diomedes," I whispered, "what am I to do?"  
  
"Hmm?" A throaty, groggy reply came from behind me. "Did you say something, Briseis?"  
  
I rolled over to face him. "Why are you here?" I asked, trying not to stare at his chiseled stomach.  
  
He yawned. "You were having a nightmare. You shouted for me in your sleep. I was afraid something had happened to you."  
  
"Yes, I remember that, but why are you here now?" I looked into his eyes, afraid of where my own might wander if I broke my gaze.  
  
"I wanted to wait until you were asleep before I left. I must have drifted off myself without realizing it. I am sorry if I disturbed you." He began to rise.  
  
I put my hand on his arm. "No, it's all right. I--thank you for staying with me."  
  
Someone knocked at the tent flap. "Lady Briseis," said Odysseus, sticking his head in the door. Diomedes and I both sat up. "Oh, excuse me, I'll come back in a bit. Or better yet, come to my tent when you have dressed and refreshed yourself." He gave us a curt nod and left.  
  
  
  
Ten minutes later I was standing in Odysseus's tent. "You wanted to speak with me?"  
  
"Yes." He leaned back in his chair. "The fleets shall be departing soon. I have already told you of most of your choices, but another came to me during the funeral rites for Achilles. As you know, Achilles lived in Pthia. The land there belongs to his family. However, he has no heirs. His mother, Thetis, lives in Pthia." I nodded; Achilles had told me some of his family history. I knew his mother was a nymph. "If you wish, I or one of the other sea captains can take you there. Thetis would almost certainly take you into her home."  
  
"I thank you for the offer, Lord Odysseus. I shall have to think on it a little more." I bowed my head and exited. Not surprisingly, Diomedes waited for me outside.  
  
"Will you go to Pthia, then?" he asked, walking alongside me.  
  
"I do not know," I replied honestly.  
  
"If you do, I will take you. It is on the way to my own home in Argos."  
  
We had come to the entrance of his tent. I smiled. "Is it really on the way?"  
  
"No. But I would sail to the edge of the world and back for you, Briseis." I must say that my heart stopped at his admission. My mind quickly went back to that morning when I awoke nestled in his embrace. And then I remembered the dream. It was him I had sacrificed myself for, not Achilles. It had been Achilles who had hurt me. My face must have shown my conflicting emotions, because soon Diomedes's arms were around me. "I am sorry, Briseis, I should not have said anything."  
  
"No," I whispered. "It's not you. I would love to go to Argos."  
  
He smiled, and it was as if Apollo had suddenly inhabited his body. "We will go then. Together." And then he kissed me. I melted into his embrace. In that kiss, I felt a longing that I thought had died with my first love. Diomedes must have felt it, too, because he slowly backed me into his tent, and taking hold of my waist, pushed me gently onto the bed.  
  
  
  
A/N: how's that for a cliffie? please review! you have no idea how much i'll love you! 


	5. Fear

A/N: i have changed ch. 4 slightly...i didn't do anything too drastic...just altered the dream and changed the time frame slightly, so you may want to go back and reread it.  
  
yes, diomedes is based on the character in the iliad that hurts both aphrodite and ares. i haven't mentioned that aspect of him because i'm trying to stick with the gods-are-present-in-name-only attitude of the movie. he is a king in this, but a minor one, which is why he was chosen to be briseis's body-guard. i also read somewhere that he did try to defeat troilus in battle because he was loved briseis. i would assume that she felt the same, but i don't know for sure. and that is where i got the premise for the romance.  
  
btw, the romance happens fast for a reason...one that you'll learn in this chapter. so read on!  
  
::disclaimer:: if i sang you a song, it would be about how i wish i had my own personal bodyguard named diomedes. unfortunately, i cannot sing that well (unless there's a good song on the radio), and so i shall not. btw, i don't own any of this. not even diomedes. ::sigh::  
  
  
  
Chapter V  
  
We left for Argos and Pthia soon after my first night in the tent of Diomedes. "Just wait, my love," he said. "Soon we will stand on the shores of a city blessed by Hera, Queen of the Gods."  
  
I said nothing, but though of my own city, once blessed by bright Apollo, now lying in ruins. That, and vomited. It was strange: I had never gotten seasick before; at least, not like this. Of course, I also did not sail quite so much. At last, I was so miserable that Diomedes decided to stop in a port city so I might recover some of my strength. It was when the sickness did not subside that I noticed something else: my monthly cycles had ceased. I was pregnant.  
  
I was both over-joyed and horrified. Over-joyed because I was to have a child fathered by a man I loved. Horrified because I did not know whether that man was Diomedes or Achilles. Secretly, I hoped it was Achilles, for I would have many years to be with Diomedes and to bear him children.  
  
In either case, I had to tell Diomedes. I was frightened about doing that for some reason. He would not care, I told myself. He had known what happened between myself and Achilles before I'd even met him--indeed, probably the entire Greek army knew. He would not leave me here to fend for myself. And yet, I was frightened out of my wits. What if it had all been a front? What if he didn't really love me? What if he secretly hated Achilles? He might kill me! I petrified myself with the possibilities, each idea more horrible and less likely than those before. At last, I decided that no matter what, he would find out, and it would be better for him to do what he would with me before we left the island.  
  
I made my way to the docks, where Diomedes stood, supervising the restocking of the ships. He greeted me cordially, saying, "Are you feeling well enough to travel again, my love?"  
  
"Yes," I answered, though in my mind I screamed no. "Diomedes, I have something of utmost importance to tell you. Alone."  
  
He must have heard the pleading and fear in my voice, for he paused a moment before replying. "Give me but a moment, sweet, and I will be with you." I nodded and seated myself on a barrel. Diomedes spoke with his head captain, Evander, and then made his way to me. "Now what is it, love?"  
  
A tear fell down my face. 'Hera give me strength,' I thought. "Diomedes," I whispered, "I'm with child."  
  
"Truly?" he exclaimed. I nodded, miserable. He ran a hand through his hair--an act Hector also had done when he was bewildered. He turned to me. "But what is wrong?"  
  
I looked down at my hands. "I--I do not know who the father is," I said quietly. "I am not sure if it is you or Achilles."  
  
Diomedes laughed and stood up, taking my hands. "Does it matter?" he asked, pulling me up.  
  
I smiled weakly. "But what will we say his heritage is? He cannot have two fathers. And what if the child ::is:: Achilles's? He could not inherit Argos from a man who is not his father. And if the child is yours? He could not rightfully rule--" I would have continued, but Diomedes silenced me with a kiss.  
  
"Hush, my darling," he said. "First, we will say the child belongs to the prettiest and wisest princess of Troy."  
  
"But those titles belong to Helen and Andromache," I protested.  
  
He shook his head. "Helen was not a true princess of Troy," he said, "and Andromache was no princess, but a goddess among women." He continued, "I would rather the son of Achilles inherit my lands than the son of my first wife. But to settle the issue so you are at peace with yourself, we will go to Pthia and see Thetis, Achilles's mother. She will know if the child you carry belongs to her son or not."  
  
"She will know whose son he is?" I asked, slightly incredulous. I knew she was a nymph, but I did not know that they had such powers.  
  
Diomedes laughed again. "Thetis will know, but why do you refer to the child as 'he'? You might be carrying a little girl with stars for eyes and a smile brighter than Apollo's."  
  
"But don't you want a son?"  
  
"Briseis, are you safe?" I nodded. "Is the child safe?" I nodded again. He smiled. "Then I am happy, and want no more."  
  
  
  
A/N (again): sorry twice-over for the shortness of the chapter and the length that it took for me to write it. i wrote it on vacation, but did not type it up until today. never fear, the story should pick up from here. 


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